Friday, July 21, 2017

trapped in the amber of this moment

"And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep."
I haven't read a book from start to finish for too long, and I'm glad that Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five fixed that for me. His fixation on the present moment captures the moment of wartime. The future is not guaranteed. I feel like I'm pulling the damaged-little-girl-who-lost-her-father-at-a-young-age card again but this was (is?) my mentality after the incident. I did not know how he died, just that it happened suddenly. At any moment, the future is not guaranteed. It can happen at any moment. Today is as good as any other day.

I would like to think I'm a person who lives for the present. Time that is absolutely guaranteed is now. I want to be truly present for this moment that is my life. I would like every moment to be worthwhile. There is no need to wait for the start of a new month, week, or day. Today is as good as any other day.